"Sarah, you won't believe what I just bought!" I suppose if I leaned more to the 'normal' side, she would have expected me to describe, in minute detail, some new piece of furniture, or a fun outfit, something like that. But she KNOWS me, well.

"I just bought a new Bible, but not just any ole Bible (because we all know I already have about 99). I bought The Archaeological Study Bible. Because I'm reading through the Bible this year, and I got to Exodus and then Leviticus and had some questions that my Bible just couldn't answer, and some woman last week ordered this really COOL Bible, and, well, I just HAD to have it."

Silence.

"Sarah? Still there?"

"Still here, Mom."

"Sarah! I was wondering all about Tamar and the whole thing where all her dead husband's brothers are supposed to 'belly up to the bar', and, ahem, provide her with a chilld, and they, ahem, have other ideas for that, and so she dresses as a prosti*tute and her FIL stops by the road, and, ahem, anyway, she gets pregnant, and when her FIL decides she should be killed for her indiscretion, she presents him with proof that he was the one she was doing the tango with.... so I had some questions about all of THAT, and THIS Bible, it just explains the daylights out of it. So I had to have it."

She may have said something here, to be nice. I could tell she just wasn't getting excited for me.

So I told her, "And, and, I bought another book too. This one is called, The Everything American Government Book, from the Constitution to present-day elections, all you need to understand our democratic system. Because there's an election coming and I don't feel like I have a good grasp of how everything's done, and I want to be an informed voter, not just of the candidates, but of the whole voting process. So I also bought this book."

"Mom, that's just sad."

"Oh no, Sarah, it's just the greatest thing, really. I'm so excited to have them both."

"MOM, go buy the bumper sticker, and slap it on the back of the car....."Hi, my name is Bev and I'm a N.E.R.D."

Well, thank the Lord! My husband doesn't really 'allow' bumper stickers, so if my own family doesn't understand this quest for knowledge I'm on, I'm sure not telling the whole world, and expecting them to get on the happy bandwagon with me.

But if you are out driving, see a champagne-colored Durango, and the woman in the front seat happens to be wearing a pair of those winged glasses, with her shirt tucked into tacky flowerdy pants that are too short, and a pen in her front pocket, feel free to wave. It's probably me.