Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Planning the Last Party
We're at an age, where we've discussed a few times, our funerals. We've seen friends and relatives have to go through the difficult process of making decisions in very difficult circumstances. We've done some of it ourselves. We'd like to prevent our children having to go through that, when we leave.

It's also our last shot at making a statement. Telling others what we were about. What was truly important, while we were here on earth. Our funeral may be the only church service some of our friends ever attend. That makes it pretty important.

My husband read a book, "Martyr's Song" by Ted Dekker. Very, very moving book. There is a CD at the back of it, and after reading it, he handed me the CD. "Play it", he said. I did. Then he said, "Play it again, at my funeral." I don't know what suit he'll wear, we laugh about whether or not he should wear shoes, but that song - it'll be played.

We discussed my preferences. I told him, with what we paid for the dress I wore when both our daughters got married, please let me wear that. (And yes of course I wore it twice. It was the perfect Mother of the Bride dress, so why look for another?) Being the mental heavy-weight I am, I suggested a Martina McBride song, "I'm a Happy Girl." Because I am. And I wasn't always. Life has had a lot of ups and downs, hard turns in the road. I'm a very "happy" person, happy as in 'not right this minute' but in 'all the important stuff was lined up.' I appreciate it because it wasn't always there. Here are the lyrics to that song....feel free to sing along.

"Happy Girl"
I used to live in a darkened room
Had a face of stone, And a heart of gloom
Lost my hope, I was so far gone
Cryin' all my tears With the curtains drawn
I didn't know until my soul broke free
I've got these angels watching over me
Oh watch me go - I'm a happy girl
Everybody knows that the sweetest thing you'll ever see
In the whole wide world is a happy girl
Laugh when I feel like it
Cry when I feel like it
That's just how my life is, That's how it goes
Oh watch me go, I'm a happy girl
And I've come to know
That the world won't change
Just 'cause I complain
Oh, yeah, Oh, yeah I'm a happy girl.

He refused to play it. I explained it was MY funeral, and I should get to pick. He said no. When I complained to the kids, they all sided with him. "Mother, you cannot play that." "Mother, it would be sacreligious." "Mom, people will think we're not sad."

I thought it perfectly summed up my life, and was still pretty settled on it. I told them they could sing a few verses of Amazing Grace, or Old Rugged Cross, or whatever was necessary to give dignity to the occasion, but Happy Girl was still my solid choice.

Then I heard this. I've put it on my sidebar so it will play when you come here. If you only have 2-3 minutes to spend, listen to the song instead of reading anything I might share.

This song - Randy on American Idol would tell you, "Dawg, it's the bomb."

Here are the lyrics:

My Redeemer, by Nicole Mullen

Who taught the sun where to stand in the morning?
Who told the ocean you can only come this far?
Who showed the moon where to hide 'til evening?
Whose words alone can catch a falling star?

Well I know my Redeemer lives
I know my Redeemer lives
All of creation testify
This life within me cries I
know my Redeemer lives

The very same God that spins things in orbit
He runs to the weary, the worn and the weak
And the same gentle hands that hold me when I'm broken
They conquered death to bring me victory

I know my Redeemer,
He lives To take away my shame
And He lives forever, I'll proclaim
That the payment for my sin
Was the precious life He gave
But now He's alive and There's an empty grave

Now I know my Redeemer lives
I know my Redeemer lives
Let all creation testify
Let this life within me cry
I know my Redeemer, He lives.

I listen to this every single time I'm on the ellyptical. When it plays, I want to raise my hands up and sing out LOUD, and I swear I could run forever. As long as it's playing. It's that kind of a song. A 'get goosebumps every single time' kind of song. Cry happy tears song. A bit better than Happy Girl. Which I am. But it's because "My Redeemer Lives."

And I'm going with the shoe-less option. That's what a girl, born and raised in the south would do. Where I'm goin', I won't be needing them.


  posted at 11:21 PM

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    Girl Raised in the South

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