You may remember a post I did in mid-June, telling of getting rid of most of what resided in our basement, covered up in cobwebs and dust. Digging through the mess, I found a few items I thought might sell on Ebay. Buying on Ebay? I'm a pro! Selling? Not so much. It confuses me, intimidates me. You can take classes on "How to Sell on Ebay" so I think my assessment is correct. I hauled the five items that appeared to have monetary value to our local "Click and Sell". The man running the place told me he thought what I'd brought in would sell pretty easily, and for a good turn of money.

There was a Sew and Tote, to put your machine and various sewing items in, that I used once. It went $41, not bad since I paid around $60 for it. I like to tell myself I rented it, for $21. Less painful that way.

Then the Stampin' Up supplies, likely $200 worth. I made 2 - T.W.O. cards in a period of 7 - S.E.V.E.N. years. Every time I saw the box sitting in the basement, where I'd dragged it to, I'd be covered up in guilt. It sold for $63.01, not such a good return, but I'm still glad it's all gone. If I want a card, I'll go to Hallmark. I know many of you out there will assure me it's easy-peasy to make cards, but for some reason it doesn't seem so to me. All that tearing papers, rubbing ink on stamps, glueing beads and buttons, and such is just too much work for me to tell someone I'm happy they found the love of their life, or I'm sorry their dog died.

Next was an entire box of 'Precious Places' pieces, belonging to middle daughter Leslie. I assured her she could have the profits. Alas, there were none. Nobody was willing to pay even $9.95 to have their entire carpet covered with sharp little pieces of plastic, ready to be stepped on in the middle of the night, or sucked up by the vacuum cleaner, go figure? Maybe nearer to Christmas we'll try again. Right now, they look ever so charming sitting in the garage on the table saw.

Then - dog control. We had a "scat mat" - a long plastic mat with electric coils running through it. You laid it out on your bed or sofa, or wherever and set the zapper to whatever level you thought necessary. It was a bit tricky, since the cat weighs 11 lbs, and the dog weighed 90 at the time. I wanted to keep both off, but without sending the cat sailing through the living room. I don't know which one was the victim, but it worked - within a few days of setting it up, neither of the four-leggeds would even venture into the room again. Sold for $51 and my girlfriends aren't afraid to sit down in the living room anymore.

And the dog collar - for "big dogs". Which means it zaps harder. You could use it for barking, or jumping or whatever, and since we tried counting to three with the puppy and it never did seem to do much, we used the collar for a few months, then sold the puppy. (Yes, I'm serious). Sold for $60.86. The collar, not the puppy. I sold her to a crazy bachelor for $200, after she licked him all over and peed on him in the middle of my kitchen floor, which being the typical man, he couldn't resist.

So yesterday I phoned the Ebay guy to see where my check was, since I have PLANS for that money. He told me he was waiting - the dog collar had been returned because the buyer claimed it didn't work. I assured him it did. He told me he'd checked the mat before he listed it, and had zapped himself so that he was a bit afraid to try the collar and just decided to believe me. When the buyer returned the collar, it had to be checked. There is a test light, so that when you push the button, if all is working well, it lights up. He told me he'd check the light.

When I phoned back this morning to be sure the collar did in fact still work, the owner's wife told me, "Oh yes, it Definitely works! My husband tried the light, which came on, but he wanted to be sure so he put the collar around his upper leg, and It Zapped Him. Believe me, Ma'am, it works. It just needed new batteries, and we've relisted it. It'll likely sell again."

I tried not to laugh, at the visual that came into my mind, of this young man with a dog collar around his uppper thigh, pushing the button, barking commands: "Down Spot! Stop that! Bad dog! Off!" all the while jumping around the room, like something out of a Jim Carey movie. Stifling a snicker, I apologized for her husband having to inflict self-harm, and told her I would be dropping off brownies, and promised not to bring them anything else that would cause her husband pain in the listing.

Note to dog out there somewhere, who's owner is, as I type, bidding on said collar, be afraid. Be very afraid. Mr. Ebay set it on the lowest setting, and you're not likely to be so lucky, being owned by anyone who is willing to pay $60.86 to get you to stop yapping at the neighbor's cat.

Labels: Girl Talk