I could try to come up with excuses for why I haven't written a note for awhile, but the honest truth is that when I find a scrap of paper around here, I can't help it - I eat it. Actually I also eat the plant leaves, the toilet paper, baseboards are good but they usually catch me there pretty darned quick. They've learned to pray with their eyes open, so it's harder to steal food off plates. Did I tell you about the time Woman made some chicken with a gooey sauce all over it, and noodles underneath, and I shoved my snout right down into the middle of it? Too wonderful for words, but they seem to have wised up.
My current treat - cow hooves - and they keep me supplied in them. Almost as good as a smelly shoe. They have the most wonderful odors all over them.
What have I learned this past month you ask? For a little slice of vienna sausage I will sit, or run to my den when the Woman says 'kennel up', and sometimes, when I'm really in the mood, and there's nothing better to do, I will come when they call me. That's if I'm not in the middle of chomping on the dry leaves at the bottom of the yard, or counting squirrels, or eating grass or watching the sky.....
Guess what?! I saw the most amazing thing - little flakes of cold, white stuff starting falling out of the sky, and it tasted good when I licked it up off the deck. Very fun! By the way, that deck got covered with slick stuff about a week ago and I went flying down the stairs. Scary! The Humans called and called, but I was just too afraid, so I sat at the bottom of the stairs, with everything in me wanting to go up but I just couldn't. Finally the woman put little slices of vienna sausage on every step and it was still scary, but at least it was worth it. I'm doing better at noticing the shiny stuff, and stepping more carefully. When we came inside the Woman pinned me to the floor with her legs (she's stronger than she looks!) and trimmed the hair on the bottoms of my paws since it was like walking on swishy brooms. I didn't like the haircut much, but I do have better traction now.
I'm getting hairy, my big boy teeth are coming in, my tail is all fanned out and if you ask me I think I'm getting to be quite handsome. I'm almost as big as Brother. When the little kids walk by the front door every morning to get on the long yellow machine I talk to them, and my voice is very big and deep! I like it, but the Woman keeps telling me, "No Barking!" I like how it sounds in the big open room, and when I'm outside and talk, you can see fog coming out of my mouth - very cool!
My den is a nice place, and I'm glad it's so big - there's lots of room for stretching out. When the Humans leave me for a long time, I get better treats to keep me busy.
They moved Brother's bed next to it, so I don't get so lonesome. Brother and I spend a lot of time there head wrestling.
I'm still trying to win over the one they call Miah, she's just so fascinating, but being teensy she can squish into places I can't fit anymore. And she's fast! Her catbox fascinates me and I like her food the best. Sometimes I sneak into the laundry room and scarf it down as fast as I can before they catch me. Yummy!
So camp is good, I'm having fun, and Woman tells me next month we're going to learn to walk nice and stay put for more than five seconds, which seems awfully picky to me, but I'm all for anything that gets me outside. I still like the mailman because he brings treats, the indoor stairs are still really scary. Maybe when you come see me you can help me with that, and if there's more of the white cold stuff we can play in it. That would be great fun.
PS You should see the awful face Woman makes when I steal those balls of yarn with the sticks in them. Seems a bit stingy to me, I just want to gnaw on them for a bit but she yelled at me and told me never to touch them again or I wouldn't see the light of day! As long as I don't eat anything except my own food, her face stays pretty normal looking.
Labels: Family Affair
posted at 4:51 PM