We're trying to find a used ellyptical. Not just any ellyptical, but a specific brand that costs about as much, new, as a good used car. So we'd like to find it used, deeply discounted. Our weekly flyer, the Pennysaver, usually goes straight into File 13, but this week I sat down with a cup of coffee and read every single ad. Yes, it was fascinating. And no, they didn't have a single ellyptical for sale. Apparently, everyone is still hanging onto those New Year's Resolutions. I guess I need to wait a bit more for everyone to fall off the bandwagon, admit defeat and offer up for sale all that exercise equipment they bought in January. Hopefully at half the price they paid for it, just to get it out of their house and quit feeling guilty for only using it twice.

I did, however, find some great buys! How about these?

"Poo-Poo Pros, pet waste removal service. Let us do the doody work! Reasonable rates, Dependable." They don't say if it's by the day, week or pile. Two dogs, two times a day each, seven days a week, I do believe that's twenty-eight Poo-Poos... What a great job! And I'm glad they're dependable, since I can sure depend on the pets to do their business. I do hope this person didn't pay for a college degree to have this job. At $1300 a credit hour and up, that would be way too depressing.

"Rival Crockpot, brand new, BEAUTIFUL, Electric. $14." Don't you love that they think their crockpot is BEAUTIFUL! And that it's actually got a cord to plug into the wall, as opposed to I don't know what, that should help it sell quickly.

"Mausoleum crypts, Forest Lawn Gardens, Garden of Peace, Prime (side by side, 2nd level), Value $9800, asking $5800. I don't know who changed their mind about dying, nor do I quite get what makes for a 'prime' location to be stored in either. And $10,000? Are you kidding? Wow!

"Maternity clothes, Large. Great condition. $35.00." Aren't all maternity clothes large? What pregnant woman out there is really small?

"Handyman for rent. All your home repair/remodeling needs big or small. I do it all. Call Joe anytime." This one really made me smile. You don't need to hire Joe, you can just rent him, like an apartment, or a car, or a hotel, and anytime apparently. For anything. What a guy! Most repairmen I 'hire', I have to leave a message, they eventually phone back, and it takes two to three weeks to get them to come over for an estimate of the job, if they're willing to do it at all! That Joe....

How about a car? "Ford, 1996 Taurus, good condition (no major problems), high mileage, $1,000 or best offer." Shoot I could run that ad and sell me!

And maybe the best, "$ Bikini Towing $. Cash paid for unwanted vehicles! Call for pricing. 24 hours! We'll make you smile in the end!" So does that mean they tow vehicles clad in bikinis, all hours of the night and day and you'll be smiling the whole time, just from the uniforms they wear?

So, no ellyptical, but heck it was fun just looking for one. At this rate, I may keep looking for it long after we have it in our basement, dusty with outgrown clothes hung over it, just like everyone else's.

Labels: Silliness