Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Hair Issues
We're making some permanent changes in the hair situation around here - regarding mine and the dogs'. I got mine highlighted a couple of weeks ago, trying to look like I've been in the sun the past several months when the truth is it's been snowy or icy or rainy here since about last November. Right now my hair looks sun-kissed, and it should for $90! I didn't mind paying for the highlights, but honestly when she charged me $30 to dry and style my hair? If I'd known that I swear I would have left with it wet and drippy. I came home with beautifully styled hair to clean the bathrooms and cook supper. But I just realized those highlights go very well with the 25% (or more) of grey hairs coming out of my scalp, and so if I just keep highlighting, more and more over the next few years I should eventually come out with a head of 'natural highlights', right? Is there a single soul out there who used to color her hair light golden brown and went to what was actually natural - grey - without having that horrible band of grey roots growing down your head like a Burger King Crown Gone Bad, seen at Walmarts all over the nation daily? I'd love to know, because if you did, then I'm more than happy to pay the $90 a few hundred more times to grow this color out til I just look like a radiant Grammy? For now I'll stick with highlights, the question is just how many - do I need to look like Dolly Parton, sans anatomy, to get this grown out? Help please!
I also figured out I love everything single thing about Golden Retrivers except their hair (and the fact that they drool buckets of water when they walk away from their bowls, and their big hairy paws track mud and worse into the kitchen when they come inside, and poop scooping that feels like mucking out the stables, and wrenching my shoulder out of joint hauling the dog food inside the house), so tomorrow we're making the switch to yellow labs. Both Goldens are getting shaved til they resemble labs, and I plan to keep them that way F.O.R.E.V.E.R. or til they go to be Jesus' dog or live with their real parents. I like yellow labs, and I know they'll still shed, but 1/4" long hair is a lot easier to deal with than 4" long hair that looks like some hussy blonde has been having a heyday on my kitchen floor and family room carpet! Their shaving costs less than my highlights, $59 a pop. Unfortunately that's for one!
So the hair budget has been put on steroids, and I'm figuring if we schedule me one month, then skip a month, two dogs the next month, skip a month, then my turn again, that'll work, right? Or maybe I need to leave wet every time? That should make me feel like a classy girl, standing to pay with wet dripping onto my checkbook. And if that doesn't pan out then I wonder what my hairdresser would charge to just shave me? $90 or $59 - that's a $31 savings, which is about half a dog shaving, multiplied by two, every other month.....yeah, I've got this all figured out.
Wonder what would happen if I get really confused and take them to my hairdresser and I show up at the groomer? I can just picture it now, each of them sitting in the hairdresser chair with a chai tea in hand, towels over their shoulders, their paws in little plastic bags to wax away the dry skin, chatting away, and I'm standing on the groomer's table, that strap around my neck, tail tucked between my legs, listening to the groomer girls chat about Brad and Angelina, or what's amuk in their marriage and why their kids have all gone bad...
I also figured out I love everything single thing about Golden Retrivers except their hair (and the fact that they drool buckets of water when they walk away from their bowls, and their big hairy paws track mud and worse into the kitchen when they come inside, and poop scooping that feels like mucking out the stables, and wrenching my shoulder out of joint hauling the dog food inside the house), so tomorrow we're making the switch to yellow labs. Both Goldens are getting shaved til they resemble labs, and I plan to keep them that way F.O.R.E.V.E.R. or til they go to be Jesus' dog or live with their real parents. I like yellow labs, and I know they'll still shed, but 1/4" long hair is a lot easier to deal with than 4" long hair that looks like some hussy blonde has been having a heyday on my kitchen floor and family room carpet! Their shaving costs less than my highlights, $59 a pop. Unfortunately that's for one!
So the hair budget has been put on steroids, and I'm figuring if we schedule me one month, then skip a month, two dogs the next month, skip a month, then my turn again, that'll work, right? Or maybe I need to leave wet every time? That should make me feel like a classy girl, standing to pay with wet dripping onto my checkbook. And if that doesn't pan out then I wonder what my hairdresser would charge to just shave me? $90 or $59 - that's a $31 savings, which is about half a dog shaving, multiplied by two, every other month.....yeah, I've got this all figured out.
Wonder what would happen if I get really confused and take them to my hairdresser and I show up at the groomer? I can just picture it now, each of them sitting in the hairdresser chair with a chai tea in hand, towels over their shoulders, their paws in little plastic bags to wax away the dry skin, chatting away, and I'm standing on the groomer's table, that strap around my neck, tail tucked between my legs, listening to the groomer girls chat about Brad and Angelina, or what's amuk in their marriage and why their kids have all gone bad...
Labels: Silliness
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