Thursday, April 10, 2008
Radical Spring Cleaning
Who knew - you have to spring clean your garage!

Seriously? Apparently so.

This weekend we hit the little button on the garage door, the door went up, and then it went back down, back and forth, over and over. DH did the male thing and jiggled it a bit here and there, but it didn't fix it. Then it got better. A couple days later it started doing it again. So we made the call to Mr. Garage Door Opener Repairman, and he showed up lickety-split. So lickety-split I was still in pjs, and that's just a fun way to meet a strange male at your door, don't you agree?

So we ramble around to the garage, me trying not to act awkward that I'm still in sleeping attire, and I explain to him, in female language, what I think happened. "We pushed the button, it came down, went up, back down, back up, and the light started flashing and making a clicking sound. So we called you."

He said, 'are you sure the lights flashed?' 'Ummmm, yeah, I think so.' He walks through the garage opening and pushes the button and sure enough lights flash and it flys back up. He explains to me it's obvious it's something with the 'eye', and not the mechanics of the opener itself. Oh yeah, that was completely obvious to us...

I tell him / show him, see, the snow shovels are pushed away, and so are the trash cans. There's clearly nothing in the way of the 'eye'. So while I'm standing there barefoot, in pajamas, no makeup and stickey-up hair, i.e. looking like a completely classy lady who has it together all the time, he goes over to the 'eye' and dusts off the cobwebs that every garage in America has. He explains to me you have to clean the cobwebs off now and then, like every ten years or so, or it can obstruct the beam, that is invisible to the naked human eye, but can clearly see dust.

He walked to his truck, got out his metal clipboard, wrote me up a bill, and said, "sorry, they're going to charge you $62 for this.' They're? They're as in it's the company's fault, not his. There was a $34 service charge, that charge for driving to our home and with the current price of gas, I might not have paused at that one. Since the last fill-up was $63 and I get well under 20 miles to the gallon, that seemed about right.

Do you see it? See where that bill says, 'clean and adjust light beams'. It could have just said, 'spring cleaning necessary every decade'. I smiled, thanked him, wrote a check and assured him I would add it to next year's spring cleaning list. $35 for 10 minutes, I do believe that comes out to $210 an hour. I think I could have had a chat with a brain surgeon for about the same rate. I could hire Merry Maids for 14 hours at that hourly rate, and could have had someone here for two hours at the $35. I'm pretty sure, in those two hours, she could have taken a swipe at the drasted 'eyes' in the garage, and swished a potty or two to boot.

If there's anyone out there who actually cleans the eyes on their garage door opener, please don't tell me. I'm much happier just thinking everyone pays an outrageous sum every ten years to have someone come and do it for them. It's making me a little afraid, to even think about opening the windows in this place. Twenty-two windows, haven't been washed inside and out in a coon's age, yeah - best to just leave the windows closed, tilt the blinds and count on cloudy days here in the 'Burgh.


  posted at 8:00 AM

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