Last week we had the happy occurrence of taking our older dog, Elway to the vet to check out his rear end. Without giving you TMI it is less than normal, and $144 later we had some very expensive antibiotics, some steroids and some nice little wipes. I was particularly thrilled to take home the wipes, knowing who got to administer them.

My life, it's nothing if not glamorous.

Lately I've noticed that this same dog, who has in ten years run up enough vet bills to repurchase him 20 times over, seemed to be drinking an awful lot of water. Shoving his face into the bowl and taking big gulps til I'd order him to stop. And of course I'd say it in a lovely, sweet, soft voice.

In spite of the fact that the pet accrual appears red when I pull up our online budgeting tool, I scheduled another vet appointment. It makes perfect sense to slide grocery money or life insurance or Christmas shopping or whatever over to the pet accrual, again. So that's what I did then I phoned, and was given another appointment.

Today Elway and I went to see Dr. Bush, who is always calm, and very nondescript, which does make it easier to discuss the dog's rear end, etc. when the need arises. They did bloodwork that cost more than I thought it would cost to check my blood. It came back normal. They checked organ function and we're not talking the type that chimes out 'Rock of Ages' across the neighborhood at the end of the day. Organ function was just fine. They needed to do a urine check and asked for the leash, to take him for a walk outside, hoping he'd cooperate.

He didn't.

So home we went, after paying the bill, me with visions of sliding yet more line items over the again red pet accrual. And with orders to get a urine specimen sometime today and run it back to their office.

I didn't have the guts to ask how to go about it.

Later in the day I walked outside with Elway, when I knew nature was calling, and as soon as he started to pee I shoved the little plastic container under his belly and caught the stream, then turned loose of the dog, looked around praying none of our neighbors had seen me, and would think I'd lost my ever lovin' mind. BTW, I've never been so happy as I was today that our boy dog pees like a girl.

There you have it. Not only did I make the beds, do two loads of laundry, pay the bills, paint the basketball goal, and not shoot the painter who is here dealing with the picket fence. I also figured out how to get a urine specimen from a dog.

Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks? The question is which one of us is the old dog...So the dog is fine, we don't know why he drinks buckets and buckets of water, but the vet suggested I bring in a specimen every three months. Of course he did because my life, it's nothing if not glamorous.

Labels: Lighthearted