Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Take a Deep Breath!
When my sister, Barb, told me she was working on her "100th post", I had no idea what she was talking about. I was ignorant. I had no idea there was an actual thing, a place, a point.

Apparently I blew right by it. If I'd known, I might have written something resembling humor, or a deep thought, or something profoundly moving. My actual 100th post, back in July, was this Thursday Thirteen. I know a few of you out there think Thursday Thirteens are a little strange, I've even heard it called the "TT cult". I'm not really the cult-joining kind; while I'm a bit of an extrovert if the group isn't too big, you won't catch me running up and down aisles twirling anything while speaking gibberish with my head shaved and wearing a flowing robe, or discussing casting out demons and weird black snakes coming out of human orifices, or raising the dead or almost-dead, or handing out brochures at the airport.... or however you might like to describe a cult. I'm more of a right-smack-dab-in-the-middle, between left and right, kind of girl. But I really, really like Thursday Thirteen posts. Nice and simple, yet you can stuff a lot in them if you want. You can also coast through if the laundry is piled up, the bills aren't paid, the majority of stuff in your fridge resembles a science project, or there's nothing in your fridge. They go with the flow. It's fun to see what others did with their TT each week.

Off and on today, I thought about how my sister handled hers. Apparently, if you see it coming you list 100 things about yourself. I read hers, then I thought, "How on earth am I going to tell them I skipped school more than I went, I smoked and cursed quite a bit back then, hate listening to TV preachers, except Billy Graham? He's the only exception. When he dies, I'm done.

Can I confess I used to be buck-toothed and knock-kneed, just a bit? I'm afraid of everything in the world that has more than 4 legs, and quite a few of those too. I really only like babies who are related to me. I truly love the smell of skunk stuff.

How do I admit to these nice people I let a friend poop in the locker of a scorned boyfriend in junior high to get even, I can't whistle, dance, yo-yo, do math, sing, tell a joke, light our grill, find my way back from anywhere, I cry over almost everything in the world, including when jerks win game shows, can't stand anyone to be upset with me, would own 10 cats if it wouldn't label me as weird, can put my hands into almost anything but would not eat a bug for a $1000, nor bungy jump? What on earth will they think?

Can I tell them I drag my feet going downhill on my bike, talk to myself - a lot, esp. when I'm balancing my checkbook, used to have a serious southern drawl, despise sushi, squid, escargot, less than well-done fish of any kind, hate almost any form of exercise, don't really like chocolate except when I get really tired, or stressed, or PMS which isn't that often anymore?

Should I share that I wear size 10 shoes, and overall don't understand matching shoes to clothes at all, prefer sweats or jeans to dressing up, don't really like chick flicks, love almost all action adventure movies, but am truly terrified of scary movies? Will they kick me out of the Captivating study if I admit I complain way more than I should, pray every single day although sometimes it's pretty random and while I'm driving?

Will they know I'm a nerd if I share I've read probably 20 books on personal finance, type over 100 wpm, still remember shorthand and use it to take sermon notes? Will I appear a bit grinchy or neurotic to say I despise being tickled, or flicked with water, and almost wrecked my car once over a moth; can identify birds, most trees, and am psycho allergic to poison ivy? Will they picture a permanent bun on my head if I admit I generally have 10+ books on my nightstand, most of my books are overdue, like to cook and bake, cross-stitch, oil paint, quilt, grow herbs and flowers, mow the grass, paint inside and outside the house, don't generally enjoy Bible studies, and when we go to the movie I eat an entire large bucket of popcorn myself, every time? (Do NOT ask me to share!!!)

Will it gross them out to know I'll mix diet coke with diet pepsi, or tea, or lemonade or whatever, type with my toes when people talk or preach, got a D- in biology, adore scrabble, used to play bridge and love all board games although I rarely get to play, and, even more rare that I win? Can I admit I don't have a competitive or sport-inclined bone in my body, but like to watch football, basketball and baseball? Wrestling looks gross to me (I don't understand why they don't all pass gas all the time or break their necks...)

Will they believe I had a job where I looked for and picked head lice off kids' heads, learned to swim with little kids when I was 15, try to jump off the diving board once a year so I never get scared of it, can still do a cartwheel, have knees that sound like crushed eggshells when I walk?

Can they relate to the fact that I ran away from home once just to be with my brother, used to practice kissing my pillow, don't understand eye shadow, take scalding baths, hate water that doesn't have a blue concrete bottom, am terrible at canoeing, truly believe marrying my husband was the best thing that ever happened to me, love my kids to a scary level, adore my grandchildren, love my extended family, blogging and God, not in that order?

Nah, I'll stick with my TT post. Makes you wonder what's growing in my fridge.

For more 100th posts, go to Overwhelmed with Joy. If you're not completely worn out from being here.

  posted at 6:00 AM

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    Girl Raised in the South

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